Ok, so I know it’s tough being a single guy in the scene, trying to be lucky enough to get invited into the bed of a swinging wife or single gal, but there is definitely a right way and a seriously wrong way to do this.

This story is about a guy who is a professional at the wrong way!

So there’s this guy, and as much as I’d LOOOOOOVE to name names here it goes against my professional principles to publicly oust this dickhead (he may as well be known as “dickhead” for the duration of this rant!). What bugs me is that it makes it even more difficult for the nice guys who are genuine and worth meeting because guys like this dickhead are such dickheads! And yes, that is my professional opinion!

He meets up with one of our awesome chocolate friends and enjoys a nice night with her while her husband is enjoying a nice night with another gal. After the fact he is then persistent and pushy in asking when they can “catch up” again. Even when he’s told “no I can’t, I have the kids” or “I’ve got work”, he persists saying things like “oh go on, not even for just an hour?” or “I’ll make it worth your while” and “you won’t regret it” *ug*. He has no regard for the agreement between her and her husband and is just as persistent in trying to “catch up” while her husband is away… Very bad form!

Eventually she told him to “fuck off!”… Good form! It seems he actually paid attention to this not-so-subtle hint… Eventually!

Anyway, about the same time this happens he starts friending a bunch of her friends on Facebook (me included) and what we realised later was he was using the same approach with most of us. He would send a friend request and a message starting with “I was looking for my friend (with the same name as ours) and I came across you. You look interesting…” blah blah blah and eventually asks to be friends and get to know each other. I received it and since I get lots of friend requests with no attached intro messages, I thought why not?! I am always up for getting to know someone new (doing so has enabled me to meet some great people, just apparently not in this case).

We have a special “chocolate group” for just our swinging friends where we chat and support each other or invite each other to parties etc. When he started friending everyone, and because he was on my “friend” list, they were asking me who he was.  This is when we started to find out what kind of guy he really was as we all started chatting and working out his various games.

Turns out he had also been using my status and tags to say things like “I saw you at (insert bar or club we were at here)”, which he got from photo’s I’d tagged us in together. WTF? As if! We know he wasn’t there… DICKHEAD!

I did initially have a quick meeting with him a few months ago, only after I convinced him I don’t play with anyone or invite them to anything without a vanilla meet and greet first up. I hate the pressure of them thinking we’re going to play straight after we do coffee… arrgghhh. If I want to pin someone against a wall, surely it’s better that it’s a surprise! Yeah?  Plus, I don’t want to be locked into playtime if I think the guy is a real dickhead! I am so glad I have this rule…

During our brief meeting he was kind of quiet, hard to converse with but seemed generally nice. Something was a little off though and I couldn’t put my finger on it. He had come across a little persistent in the first few messages so when we met, I made a point to let him know that pushy and over keen is a complete turn off and doesn’t get guys anywhere… I was hoping that would be enough to let him know how to play the game to get the booty!

Nope, not a chance… He’ll tell you what he thinks you want to hear just to get you into bed. He matches your stories to a story, or person, he knows so he has something in common with you – a rapport building technique… Manipulative dickhead!   And then he proceeds to text you regularly to “catch up” that day/hour/moment, or try to get you to commit to a future date!  Did I mention “persistent”?  Although why he prey’s on married women is beyond me! Oh no wait, he did answer that question, because “girlfriends are too much hard work”. WTF? Issues… this guy has serious issues.

Not only was he very persistent and pushy to “catch up” or give you a massage because he was “in the area now”, he lied about his identity! He denied his name was (oops, nearly said his name) when my friend asked because she was sure it was him from his photo but wasn’t sure, only to find out later it was him.

Funny thing is that we caught him out! The number he gave my friend as one name, was the same number I had him under as his Facebook name… so I messaged him telling him to leave my friends and me alone. He comes back with “who is this?” and even after I explained who I was, he says “No idea how you got this number..” Idiot… dickhead… He gave it to me but had also been messaging me from his other phone!

After a few more denials and insults, I let him know he’s full of it and we’d caught him out. To which he replies “??Wow. Weirdo. Clearly I don’t have your number. Another wannabe!” I’m still trying to work out what it is that I am a wannabe of lol. If anyone has an answer to that, please let me know LOL! Dickhead…

We did a Google search on his number (yes you can do that) and it turns out his first name is correct on Facebook but his surname isn’t. So between us we’ve got 4 different names for him! Watch out ladies, he’s not good at accepting a “no” and if you’re part of a couple, he’s not good at respecting the relationship or your boundaries, he’ll keep pushing them just to get his end in.

Plus he’s seriously bordering on stalking by watching our status’s on Facebook to see where we’re going (to ask if he can come to) or tell us he was there… *shudders*

So he’s the first single guy we’ve blacklisted. All of the chocolate group are one by one blocking him from Facebook and Blender. It’s quite sad really. If he wasn’t so persistent and shifty in the way he approached us, he could have been invited into the chocolate group and enjoyed many a party with threesomes and foursomes and moresomes a plenty.

To all the nice and genuine single guys out there who are reading this, please follow this as an example of what NOT to do… And perhaps follow up with reading “A Single Man’s Guide to Snagging and Shagging a Couple” which this DICKHEAD clearly didn’t read or pay attention to!

RANT/VENT OVER

If we stick with vibrators, there are plenty of decisions and choices that need to be made when choosing your first one, but put simply you need to consider the following:

1. Size is perhaps the first thing you need to think about because using a dildo is pretty invasive (in a nice way of course!) so you don’t really want to be starting with a huge dildo if you’ve never used one before.

   You probably ought to go for something small and discreet to start with because that way you will feel completely in control and you can safely store you new little friend in your purse or bedside drawer.




2. Shape is your next consideration because you need to decide whether you want a vaginal or anal dildo. If you’re looking at vibrators then it’s more about the sensation than shape or size and for starters, you’re probably better off getting a vibrator.




3. Material is important because you need to decide whether you want something that is realistic to the touch or smooth and cold. The most popular material is probably silicone because it is easy to clean and it can be cooled or warmed up quickly.

Size, shape and material are all very well, I hear you say, but what products should you be looking for? There are literally thousands to choose from so where do you start?

We could discuss options for days on end, but the safest option is probably to go for something small and perhaps to start with a vibrator rather than a dildo.

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CLICK HERE to go to The Essential Guide for Adventurous Couples.

NOTE: Raunchify is NOT a swingers event, it is an event for women who have lost their mojo… I’m speaking about “Going from Rut to Raunchy; Get out of Your Head and Back into Bed!”

Please leave comments and questions below, and if it’s a great question, I’ll do another YouTube video just for you!

This rut was a big one for Chantelle. It always baffled me, because from the moment I first laid eyes on her I thought she was nothing short of stunning. In fact I’m pretty sure that the night she picked me up in a night club, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

And this has never changed for me. No matter if her curves were a little bit larger, I always cherished her body and I still think it is fantastic.

Mr Wonderful

Chantelle’s related article: Are you in a sexual rut? Part 5: The “I don’t like the way I look/low self esteem” rut

Chantelle and I had decided to venture into swinging and were exploring all kinds of fun and funky activities. Part of this was lots of discussion about all the things we wanted to try, and agreeing on what we wanted to add to our “Sexual Bucket List”.

From memory I don’t think there was anything Bi on that initial list.

But hell! Everybody loves you when your Bi!!!

Now, playing in close proximity to other men there is always a chance that there is some “collatoral damage” or accidental touching between men. Plus you get to see all the other guys equipment in action,

I gently kiss down your neck letting my tongue slide down to your chest then gently nibbling your nipples. You slowly move your hands under my shirt, slowly moving your hands over my breasts and sliding my shirt off and onto the floor. You kiss me and undo my bra gently sliding my straps off my shoulders and as my bra hits the floor you are caressing my naked breasts, slowly kissing down my neck,

Chantelle has already written about some of our latest adventures, but here is my brief view on them.

Club Plezure Gang Bang party This was so much fun. We took our time to get the feel for the place and eventually started to spend some time getting to know some potential playmates. When we did make it to the mattresses in the Orgy room, Chantelle was having a great time surrounded by boys…. it was really a case of “what do I play with first” for her… its a tough life!!! As usually happens with Chantelle around, she became the center of attention with everyone enjoying the show.

Although a bi-friendly venue, there wasn’t really much of that happening, and I wasn’t sure whether to try with any of the hot man flesh on show… lol.

When we did move to the bedroom, it was a very hot situation, with hands all over Chantelle..

This is what I would like to happen the next time we have a swinging couple over for dinner:

The kids are out of the house.

Whilst preparing dinner, there is lots of little touches here and there. Lots of interesting and sexy talk. A grope here and a grope there. Some kissing and general interaction between all 4 of us.

A nice dinner, a few drinks, continuing sexy talk…. clothes beginning to be taken off.

This night we had a few weekends ago was something we’d never experienced before and it opened my eyes to what else is possible… Before I spill the beans on what it is, I better give you a bit of background about who’s who first.

We’d only met one couple that night and the other couple we hadn’t really played with but

With my eyes I scan the room. The light is dim.

I place my hand over a near by candle, savouring the heat and the pain that follows.

Your strong arm slides around my waist, gently leading me further into the den.

“Baby, you’ll burn,” you whisper, smiling. You have always loved my appetite for all things dark and painful.

The music is trance. Perfect, I think, as it throbs in time with my aching hand.

The bar to the left, tended to by an exotic looking woman and a man with immaculate arms. A fire burns, the flames dancing playfully, as we make our way to a couch in the centre of the room.

“Is this what you had in mind, sugar?” you ask, tickling my ear with your tongue.

My body begins to tremble with anticipation. I raise my eyes to yours.

“Kiss me,” I say.

Our lips meet. Tongues mingling,

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