Ok, so that was short lived and I’m not writing this to go into huge amounts of detail but rather to share what I’ve learned about myself in the process. And for those inquiring minds, there has been absolutely no fall out, I’m not devastated or even upset; we are still great friends and she’ll always be someone special to me Apparently I don’t do much by halves though and when I decided to ask her to be my girlfriend, I hadn’t fully thought out what that might mean to me, her or our respective relationships. I hadn’t considered what could or couldn’t happen or even what I would want to happen. I just jumped straight in and figured I would work it out as I went, after all, it was a totally new space for me to be in; one I never saw myself...

I can’t believe the weekend I’ve just had… a double header as I call it. After Friday night at one of our bestest playmates house, we backed it up with the Luscious Escapes Neo Tantra night last night and OMG, there were so many sexy people there that I had trouble deciding where to spend my time. Well, no, that was easy actually… EVERYWHERE!!!! We did the usual mingle with a few drinks, get to know the people attending for the night, then onto the icebreaker which always brings a smile to my face, with my eyes closed, lost in the moment of sensual stimulation… fully clothed at that point I might add, even if not much in the way of clothes lol. Ooo..., we're sorry!!!...... you have to log in to read this super special content with the login box below...

This was not something I ever thought I would want or do, so I’m a little surprised at myself and oh, have turned into a giddy teen as a result. Ug. I can only guess it’s because it’s so new, the whole having a girlfriend thing. It’s like when I first started dating the opposite sex, there was some giddiness involved then but after 20 odd years, I’m more than comfortable with guys. Now I’m think back to square one because it’s with the same sex (what tha???)… I figure it’s a good excuse so I’m sticking to it! She’s gorgeous (of course) and we’ve known each other for over a year (so I haven’t rushed in lol), but I found out she’s had more feelings for me than I realised for a while now. Ooo..., we're...

To say I’m in heaven right now is an understatement. I seem to have attracted a small number of awesome playmates and OMG, the things they are doing to me are… well… I have no words to describe it other than “grrrr”. Ever kiss someone and go “oh fuck I want more of that!” or “damn, just pin me against a wall, I want you NOW!”… well yeah, that’s grrrr… I love having playmates that invoke that response in me and have me on the edge constantly wanting more. That’s what I love and that’s as close as I can come to describing the awsomeness that is “my ideal playmate”. Saturday night was party night and the second he (one of previously referred to “ideal playmates”) walked in the door I...

Hmm, that title up there makes it sound like I’m going to explain something to you, or take you step by step through a process, doesn’t it? I don’t think I could do that. I am going to tell you that I feel enlightened. I feel calm and comfortable. I feel like, for the first time maybe ever, I understand a great mystery about male and female interaction that I never quite grasped before, and before you ask, I don’t think I could put it into words now. So this is gonna be a bit of a stroll for me as I sort of center around a concept. It’s well known that I have a problem with expectations, the want for something to happen that almost becomes a need, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized how powerful that drive within me is. How strongly my brain pushes its expectations. I...